


Beautiful You

by m_arble



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 13:44:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11381397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_arble/pseuds/m_arble
Summary: katlaska love meets abusive shalaska - what could go wrong?Like all fanfiction, this is work of fiction.  I do not believe that my writing is in any way an accurate portrayal of any real person, or any real relationships.*originally posted on artificialqueens*





	Beautiful You

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter one - The start of Katlaska.

Brian could hardly believe what was happening.  After months of flirting and fantasising, it was finally becoming a reality.  Justin was in his hotel room, his slender limbs wrapped round Brian’s semi naked frame. They were stripped down to their underwear, searching each other’s mouths with their tongues like they were in some sort of Hollywood rom-com, their hands roaming all over each other. Brian was reaching for him, feeling Justin through his underwear when he was stopped.

“Wait.  Wait,” Justin whispered into their kiss.

“What is it?” Brian released his grip on the other man’s cock.

“I don’t know.  I just… Do you think we should be doing this?” Justin still had his legs wrapped round Brian’s thighs, but he pulled his hand away from the back of his neck.

Brian drew back, looking at him uncertainly, “Yes, I do.  Do you not?  Does it not feel right? I’m a big boy Justin I’ve handled rejection plenty of times before, I’m sure I can manage again, just be honest.  We can pretend this whole thing never happened.”

Justin couldn’t help but smile at how frantic and serious Brian had gotten at the thought of him calling the whole thing off. Brian was so open and clear-cut, a quality he admired - especially considering how guarded he was himself.  It made him feel wanted, and though it was too early for him to trust Brian yet, Justin was hopeful. 

“Of course if feels right.  I want this, you know I do.  It’s just… I, I don’t want to get hurt,” Justin admitted. “I don’t want things to get messy and fucked up.  I seem to have a way of making that happen.”

Brian let out an audible sigh of relief, confident that this was still going to happen.  Though he thought carefully about his next move.  Brian realised that, of course, Justin had every right to be anxious, his last relationship was a fucking shit show.  While he didn’t know the ins and outs of all the stuff that went down with him and Sharon, Brian had his own theories about the whole thing, and he was pretty convinced he was on the right track. 

He knew Sharon well enough and had spent enough time with her in pre-show dressing rooms to hear her boisterous, crude accounts of their relationship details.  And he’d heard enough shit from other queens, things Sharon had said when she was wasted that certainly raised red flags when thinking about the dynamic of her and Justin’s relationship.  Brian had made up his mind quite a while ago, and almost regardless of her treatment of Justin, he’d concluded that Sharon was simply a self-centred, narcissistic piece of shit. 

“Well you want this,” Brian began, leaning in to plant the softest of kisses along Justin’s cheek and chin.

“And I certainly fucking want this,” he worked his way onto Justin’s neck, pressing his lips against his skin so lightly Justin could barely feel him. “So as far as I’m concerned, there’s no reason to worry.” 

Brian knew that after tonight, he would worry.  He’d worry that Justin would think it was all a mistake and realise that someone like him could never fulfil the desires of someone so beautiful, but right now he wasn’t worried at all.  It felt so right with Justin under him, the feel of his fingertips tracing his chest.  Brian knew that being here, in this moment, would change everything.  This wasn’t Katya and Alaska fooling around, playing it up for the cameras and flamboyantly frolicking about.  This was Justin in front of him.  Justin, whose demeaner had completely altered since their clothes had come off.  Justin, who was not the self-assured, confident Alaska that he portrayed in other scenarios.  He was modest and attentive and Brian admired all aspects of his being equally. 

 “I agree,” Justin said softly as he tilted his head back and pushed his neck up, craving more contact from Brian’s lips.  His hands reached for Brian, feeling his firmness through his underwear.  

Brian parted from his neck, met Justin’s eyes and replied, “good because I lied, I really do not manage well with rejection.” 

“Well you were right about one thing,” Justin’s eyes widened with flirtation as he slipped a hand under the waistline of Brian’s underwear.  “You are a big boy.”

They laughed into each other as Brian moved down Justin’s body, gently kissing every inch of him on the way down.  He slowly peeled Justin’s boxers off, groaning as he exposed his fully firm cock. 

“Well, at least we have something in common,” Brian offered before taking almost the whole length of Justin in his mouth.  Justin inhaled heavily as Brian started to work his cock, alternating between sucking the head, flicking his tongue against the tip, and swallowing him entirely. 

“Oh my God,” Justin moaned, already feeling close.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten attention like this, felt so intimate with someone. Brian came up so the pair were face to face again, sensing that Justin wouldn’t last much longer if he carried on. 

“Turn over,” Brian whispered.

Justin obeyed, shifting himself onto all fours, his elbows against the sheets and his perfect ass elevated.   As he got into position, Brian was startled by something he saw.  Justin’s beautiful ass was marked with two faint, but very visible, long scars.  If Justin wasn’t Justin, wasn’t someone whose history Brian had the faintest idea about, he’d have outright asked about them.  But he didn’t, knowing the story behind them was not one to be shared at a moment like this.  All Brian knew was that he’d never wanted to care for and worship someone so badly in his life.  He thought about completely ignoring them, but he knew Justin would know exactly what he could see.  More to the point, he knew Justin would be nervous, waiting for him to make a move. 

“Fuck you’re so sexy,” Brian leaned in and kissed Justin’s left ass cheek, reaching his hands up and giving his right cheek a soft slap.  Justin pushed his hips back slightly, enjoying the attention that his body had been craving for so long.  Brian grabbed at his ass, kissing him all over, paying no less but no more attention to the branded parts of his body, treating them with the same tenderness he did the rest of his frame.  He pulled Justin’s hips back further, spread his cheeks apart and dove straight in with his tongue.   

“Ah, fuck Brian,” Justin was completely taken by surprise, he wasn’t expecting this kind of foreplay at all, and the momentum in Brian’s movements as he caressed his hole with his tongue completely overwhelmed him in the finest of ways.  Brian didn’t hold up, relishing every second his mouth pressed against the warm opening.  Unable to take much more of Justin’s moaning, Brian forced himself to break away. 

“Drawer.” 

Justin took a few seconds to come to his senses and realise what Brian was talking about. 

“Oh… Fuck that felt so good,” Justin admitted as he reached over and grabbed the lube from the bedside draw.  He handed the lube to Brian, who leant in to kiss his neck as he took it from him. 

“Well this will feel just as good.” 

Brian squirted a generous amount of lube onto his fingers and rubbed it against Justin’s opening, provoking a soft gasp.  He slowly pushed one finger into him and started to finger his hole, before gently inserting another finger. 

“Fuck,” Justin let out. 

Brian knelt behind him, starting to build up the speed and pressure, holding his lovers hip with his free hand. 

“Ahhh.  Oh my god that’s good,” Justin was talking into the sheets, but Brian could hear every muffled word.  He needed him, and he thought he’d done a pretty fucking good job getting Justin ready. 

Justin whined as Brian pulled his fingers out of him, but was quickly moaning in anticipation again when he felt his cock at his entrance. 

“Be gentle.  It’s been a while,” Justin droned his voice in the way he often did, though Brian more often than not read it as a sort of nervous defence mechanism.

“I’ve got you,” Brian slowly pushed himself in.  _Fuck he was so tight._ He felt Justin tense around him and back off a little as he pressed into him.  Brian pulled out and added an extra squirt of lube to their sex.

“Hey, relax.  You control it,” Brian urged as he entered him again.  He watched as Justin started to move his ass, rocking his hips slowly back and forth on his thick, wet cock, taking a little more each time. 

“Fuck, just like that,” Brian squeezed Justin’s ass with one hand and began to stroke his own nipple with the other, completely in awe at the younger man moving on him.  He felt Justin’s body start to relax as he started to get used to the length and girth of his cock, his moans becoming less tense and more passionate.   Brian let him continue like this, getting used to the size for a couple minutes, before he started to gently push in as Justin pushed back. 

Justin moaned hard and Brian secured both of his hips with his hands, starting to take back control of Justin’s movements. 

“Ahhh-Ah, fuck.” 

Part of Brian wanted to fuck him as hard and deep as he could, but he knew Justin wasn’t ready for that, not yet.  He pushed further into him but kept the speed at a fairly mild pace, watching his dick disappear into Justin’s tight hole with every impassioned thrust.  Justin’s moans grew louder and Brian reached around his body, starting to jerk his cock as he moved inside him. 

Both men were close.  Sensing Justin could take more with the stimulation of his cock to focus on too, Brian thrusted a little harder, moving intensely but still so passionately that it sent Justin into overdrive. 

“Ahhh.  Brian I’m…”

“Fuck.  Come for me,” Brian didn’t let up, pumping Justin’s cock as well as jerking his hips in and out of him, the sight of Justin’s ass bouncing on his length getting too much. 

“Ah, Justin I’m gonna come.  Fuck.”

They both moaned and cried out loud.  Justin pushed his head into the pillow, shrieking incoherently into the fabric as he came in Brian’s grasp.  This was all Brian could handle, he thrusted into Justin, awarding him a few long, hard final strokes and he came inside him. 

“Oh my fucking God,” Justin collapsed underneath Brian, who crumpled on top of him, playfully wiping the mess on his hand on Justin’s ass cheeks. 

“I think I’m having a heart attack,” Brian said as he regained control of his breathing

Justin turned his head to the side, allowing Brian to find his lips with his own.  Not satisfied with only half of his face, Brian flipped him around so he was on his back underneath him.  He kissed his neck as softly as he had when they were getting started.  As they kissed, they both wondered what the other thought, questioning if they were as scared but equally excited as they were. 

They stayed like this for a while, before Justin suggested he shower.

“I think that’s probably a good idea,” Brian said, still planting lazy kisses on Justin’s face. “I’d join you, but I really wasn’t joking about the heart attack. You must remember that I’m an old man dying of lymphoma.” 

Justin laughed, the real belly laugh that made Brian come undone, and he followed Justin’s naked body with his eyes in delight as he made his way to the bathroom. 

 

\---------

 

“I must admit, you surprise me,” Brian admitted as a now showered Justin joined him in bed, slipping comfortably under his arm and resting his head on his chest.  _Fuck this is where he belongs._

“Why?”

“I just didn’t expect you to be so…” Brian searched his mind for what he was trying to say.

“Bad?” Justin asked.  He was laughing but he looked slightly nervous.

“No!  God, no.  It was amazing.  You were amazing.  You’re just, you’re even sweeter than I ever imagined,” Brian spoke the words as they entered his mind, then realised he was coming on way too strong for a first fuck.  “Sorry… I’m being too much, I just meant to say that I didn’t think you’d be so…” 

Brian searched again for the word.  Submissive wasn’t right, the connotations were wrong.  He’d expected Justin to be a bossy bottom, he’d expected him to fight for control of the situation.  Though he certainly wasn’t disappointed, far from it in fact, he was surprised. 

“Do you ever shut up?”  Justin looked up at him and let out a little laugh.  Brian waited, willing him to find the words he couldn’t. “So what? like submissive?”

“Not submissive, no,” Brian answered, running his fingers through Justin’s hair as he spoke.  “But something like that, I guess.  Gentle might be a better word.”

Justin paused for a minute.

“I guess I’m just, I dunno, used to letting the other person take control.  It’s what most tops want,” Justin said, his voice droning a little nervously.

By ‘the other person’ and ‘most tops’ they both knew he meant Sharon.

“Do you miss it? Do you miss him?”  Brian asked, unable to stop himself. 

They’d only fucked once, I mean, he might as well ask now before he did something stupid and fell in love only to realise Justin was still hung up on someone else.

“Aspects.,” Justin offered, stroking Brian’s chest. “I miss a relationship sometimes, I don’t really like being on my own.  But there’s a lot I don’t miss… I don’t think I miss him.  I don’t miss Aaron.”

Brian knew that they had been broken up for quite a while now, but he couldn’t be 100% sure Justin was telling the truth. He hoped he was, he really did.  But he knew what a mess he’d been when they broke up, how closed off he’d been for so long, the things that other people said, Sharon herself had been guilty of bragging that she could have him back in a second.  And he knew there was something else, some hold that Sharon had on Justin.  He couldn’t help but let his mind race with thoughts concerning the scars he’d seen on Justin’s body, he questioned what mental scars had been left by their relationship and whether they were as permanent as the physical marks on Justin’s skin. 

“Well I’m glad,” Brian said, and there was a long pause before he spoke again. “For what it’s worth Justin, I think you deserve to be happy.”

Justin was taken aback by the rawness of Brian’s comment.  It hit home, and he thought it would have made him uncomfortable had it come from anyone else.  But it didn’t come from someone else, and it meant everything to him.  He leaned in to kiss Brian once more, as he couldn’t find the words to repay him.   


End file.
